Did you know that the heart begins beating at four weeks after conception and does not stop until death? Amazing, huh? When you find out your expecting the excitement of the first ultrasound is unexplainable. I couldn't wait to go get violated just to see my little blob that looked nothing like a baby! But really.. does that matter? All that matters is that blob is your baby and you are responsible for doing everything possible to help it grow big, strong and healthy. You get your first ultrasound at 6 weeks and then your next ultrasound is when you find out the sex of the baby. I have already covered finding out the sex of baby Murphy but what I didn't cover was the stress of that ultrasound. Not only did we find out that she was a girl, we also found out that there was a spot in her heart that was very illuminated. We were told that this could be numerous things. It could have been a calcium deposit, a shadow or a hole in her heart. WOW!! What a blow to experience. Of course, like any parent I went home and googled every possible thing I could think of concerning what we had been told. What was a calcium deposit? What made them in the heart? What was the course of action concerning correcting this? Was it my fault? Did I need to drink more milk? (This is where I will insert that I HATE milk!! The most milk I got was what was left in the bowl after cereal.) Everything and anything concerning holes in the heart. First off, being employed in the heath field and being pregnant should never go hand in hand. You see so many things and hear so many things that will scare the lights out of you. I, being victim of this, was devastated. We talked options over with my doctor as to when we would have another ultrasound to check for any progression or regression. She told me that if it was a calcium deposit that most of the time if you wait a little while that by the next ultrasound they would be gone. So, I waited and I prayed. I cried and I prayed. I was scared to death. After a couple of check ups it was finally time to do a follow up ultrasound. I remember waiting in the waiting room praying that nothing would be on the ultrasound and I would hear the wonderful words that all was ok. I think the walk from the waiting room to the ultrasound room was the longest of my life. The ultrasound starts and my eyes are glued to the screen.. there is a leg, there is her head, and there is her heart.. with a larger spot illuminated. Really?? I didn't need anyone to tell me that, not only was it still there, it was larger. I can never describe that feeling. What was I doing wrong?? I will have to tell you that I have the best doctor out there. She quickly calmed my nerves and assured me that everything was going to be alright. We would wait some more and check one more time closer to delivery to know what precautions to take. The rest of my pregnancy seemed to drag on. I had 3 wonderful baby showers thrown for me which helped to take my mind off of things. Putting up and organizing all those wonderful gifts took weeks by itself. Before I knew it, it was time for the ultrasound. Once again I found myself sitting in the waiting room, praying for my unborn child and praying that I made it to the ultrasound room before I broke down from nerves in the waiting room. By this point I looked like a huge cow so this ultrasound was rather fun to see. My little girl was grown big and had NO room to move much. The first thing we saw was her foot and it was definitely her daddys! :) I can't explain it, but a peace came over me. Before we got to her heart I already knew.. nothing would be there. Even though I already knew, when she said those precious words "I don't see anything, its gone" I could have kissed her. That day definitely ranks up there in my top ten days. But you know, whether her heart was broken or falling apart, it didn't matter. Because you see, she had already stolen mine.
Nobody has ever measured, not even the poets, how much the heart can hold. -Zelda Fitzgerald
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| Just days before delivery |
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