Let the Good Times Roll

I'm going to try to hit the highlights of the holidays that we have hit since Maelyn has been born. Maybe that way we can catch up to where we presently are (she's 9 MONTHS right now).

Halloween was the first holiday we came too. Maelyn was only a couple of weeks old so I didn't dress her up in a costume but we did dress up in her Halloween outfit and head off to see daddy at work.

Next, came Thanksgiving. I was super excited about this holiday. Not only did we have so much to be thankful for this year but there is yummy food involved with Thanksgiving. Even though your supposed to be worried about losing your baby weight and I did just have a baby I threw that out the window and still pretended like it was ok for me to eat whatever I wanted!! haha Although now I see that wasn't such a good idea, at the time I took joy in eating whatever I wanted. Macie, my sisters little girl, loved Maelyn! She would ask me "Your baby ok?" "Your baby tired?" I couldn't help but laugh. Macie is a little momma and always takes care of any baby animal they find or get so why wouldn't she want to take care of Maelyn? Addie just wanted to feed her a bottle. As you can tell from the pictures, she got her wish.

A couple of days before Thanksgiving we went with Brents family to Jackson to stay in the "motel" as Brents brother, Blake calls it. Brent and Blake swam in the indoor pool at the hotel while the rest of us watched from the sidelines. This was also the first time we got a giggle out of Maelyn!

 

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."

As I mentioned earlier, we had the joy of Amber Norris taking Maelyn's newborn session.  Amber specializes in child photography and its located in Collins, MS.  I strongly recommend her to any of my friends. Check out her website http://www.ambernorrisphotography.com/

Maelyn was exactly a week old and I was most worried that she wouldn't cooperate. For the most part she behaved but got sick of being naked QUICK! Here is the product of all Ambers hard work!

Amber, Thank you so much for your hard work getting these pictures of Maelyn! I love that you will always be apart of my memories with her. I just love how my photographers turn into my great friends!

Our Nest is Blessed

Our first week home wasn't TOO eventful. My parents came and stayed the first week with me. Even though I was doing everything myself, it was fun to have her here to cook and clean. I was nursing and even though it hurt like the dickens, she was eating well. I was fortunate enough to get the baby blues but was too prideful at the time to admit it. We got discharged on a Wednesday and Brent had to go to the fish house on Thursday. Lets just say that was a little overwhelming for me. I cried pretty much the whole time he was gone. If by chance the water works had stopped before he got home, the second his truck turned down our road they started again and I would meet him at the door crying so hard I couldn't see. For those that know me, this will come as a shock. It even came as a shock to Brent. The first day he thought something had happened to the baby while he was gone but by Saturday he was used to it and would just hold me as I cried. It would soon pass and things would go back to normal. THANKFULLY that only lasted about a week and I was back to normal.

1. My dad, me and Maelyn  2. First Nail Trim 3. Mom, me and my granddad which is Maelyn's Great Grandad
4. Daddy and Maelyn taking a nap 5. Nap in the play pen 6. Maelyn sitting on my moms lap 7. Maelyn and daddy doing what they do best! 8. Maelyn in her 1st head band and bow (daddy wasn't happy about this ha!)

Maelyn got to take her first road trip that week. My mom and dad had gone to Hattiesburg and on the way back hit 2 deer in her SUV. Brent, Maelyn and me had to go get them and wait on the Highway Patrolman to come and make a report for her insurance. Maelyn didn't like her car seat so you can imagine how fun that was!! As long as I was holding her she was calm and as long as the car was moving while she was in her seat she was calm but we do not "just chill" with her in her car seat.

Our first bath was quite an experience. She didn't like it very much and Brent was very nervous as to what we were supposed to do. Maelyn screamed like we were cutting her legs off but we got through it and she smelled amazing! Nothing better than the smell of a clean baby.

We were so thankful to be home with our precious healthy baby. Life started to fall into routine and we were enjoying every minute of it! We can honestly say "Our Nest is Blessed!"

The Days of our Lives

Just a few pictures from our days in the hospital. Enjoy!

The pictures the hospital offers...

 

Its safe to say, I bought them!! :)

 

Momma, I'm coming home...

My Big Brother AKA Uncle Chad

Alisha, Tasha, Chad and Me (1 month after delivery, be kind)


I am the youngest of 4 children. My oldest sister Alisha is 3 years older than Tasha. Tasha is 4 years older than Chad. Now me and Chad.. we are only 20 months apart. Does something seems little fishy about that?? Yep, you guessed right. I was an accident!

Just for the record my mom never told me I was.. my aunt eventually told me when I was older. I asked Mom and she didn't even deny it!! I mean really, atleast try to lie about it!! P.S. The same woman (my mother) didn't take me back for my last set of shots as a baby. I didn't find this out until I went to start Respiratory School and had to go get them. Did I mention that I'm scared to death of needles?!?! Thanks Mom!! :)

Back to the story, my mom got pneumonia and the antibiotics cancelled out her birth control so her and dad ended up creating me. (GAG!! I mean.. I'm thankful but still.. GAG!!) My whole name is Jennifer Shae and I was originally supposed to be called Jennifer but Chad couldn't say it so Shae I became. Me and Chad were very close growing up. When he started school he came home with the chicken poxs and being the fact I loved him ssssoooo much and that HE had them.. I had to have them!! I rubbed all over him until I got them. We played together, never fought, and were 2 peas in a pod. That was.. until he went to second grade. The kids at school told him that it wasn't cool to have your little sister as your best friend and he listened. From then on out he tortured me!! Pushed me out of trees, slung me off the go cart, hid my promise ring from my high school boyfriend.. you name it, he did it. Although he tortured, no one else was allowed to torture me. He would come to my rescue if need be but he wasn't going to rescue me from him!! haha After I graduated high school and we were both in college he finally decided that he would love me again. We became GOOD friends again. I would go see his band play shows, he would let me crash at his apartment when it was my week to work at the hospital and he would even take me out to eat.

When I became pregnant with Maelyn Chad was happy for us but he didn't really act excited. I guess it did freak him out a bit that his baby sister was having a baby. He kept up with my progress that whole time though. He was always there to say something comforting just when I needed it most. Chad and Bethany both threatened my life that if I didn't call them when I went into labor that I was going to be in big trouble. They will both be very happy to know that they were the first phone call I made. They live in Lousiana so it was going to take them a while to get here. They made it in record time only to find out that Maelyn wasnt coming anytime soon. Chad immediately fell into his position as comedian. He kept the mood light, airy and stress free.

Chad would sit by my bed and tell me to squeeze his hand when I had a contraction if I needed to. It only took a couple of times of me squeezing before he realized that wasn't such a smart idea if he wanted to keep his fingers. Its the thought that counts, right? When things took the turn from fun to serious it was like a light switch had been flipped. Chad was watching monitors and helping turn me like a chicken. 

Chad was so excited once Maelyn made her entrance. He, of course, was ready to get some sleep but was still so excited. He came home for almost a month straight every weekend to see Maelyn. Right now, she is scared of him because he can be loud at times but on his last visit I think he grew on her!

Thank you Chad for being such a great big brother to me! I think we have graduated from good friends to best friends yet again! I love you!

The Princess and Her Court

Maelyn,

You were born wide eyed and bushy tailed. When you came out they suctioned your mouth and your nose but you never made a sound. I, of course, was talking to you the second you came out. I was rubbing your foot and your daddy had your hand. You stole your daddy’s heart immediately. When the doctor asked your daddy if he wanted to cut your umbilical cord he of course said yes and was handed the scissors. As soon as he went to cut it you grabbed on to his pinky finger and your mommy lost it. I had been so consumed with being aware of everything that was going on that I hadn’t stopped to think “this is my child, this is my little girl”. The doctor held you up and said “You want to meet your parents?” and turned you around to face us. You balled those little fists up and let out a huge scream like “oh no, not them!!” It was the cutest thing EVER!! They took you over to the warmer and started checking you out. Daddy went with you. You weighed in at 7lbs even which was a shock to us. As big as I was we just knew you were going to weigh 10lbs but you didn’t. You were 20 inches long, looked just like me and had your daddy’s feet. You were absolutely perfect.

Mommy




If you recall in some of my last posts I got nothing to eat or drink during my "labor" period. As soon as Maelyn was out my awesome nurse brought me a cup of coke!! That was the second best moment of my life!! haha Mom and Bethany went to McDonalds and got me 2 large french fries.. that was the third best moment of my life!! :) 

While in labor and delivery and then in post partum we had a lot of visitors. I didn't get pictures of everyone but I will share a few.

We were blessed with a good baby from day one. She was passed around from person to person and never made a sound. Is she loved?? I think so!

Then There Were Three

Introducing

Maelyn Alyse Murphy

October 11th, 2010

1:28am
7lbs 20in

 

To my dear sweet Maelyn,

No words can describe the emotions I had the first time I saw you. You were perfect. You were my miracle. I am so blessed that God choose me to be your mommy. I promise to love you unconditionally and be the shoulder you can lean on. I promise to be your parent first and your friend second. I promise to support you in all your adventures. I promise to hold you when your down and rejoice with you when your up. I promise to kiss every bobo and wipe every tear and I promise to never turn my back on you. Your daddy and I will strive to be the best parents we can be for you. We love you so much and we will share with you the father that loves you so much more than we are capable of. I am so proud to be called your mommy and I hope one day you can say your proud that I am.

Love,
Mommy


Brent,

Thank you for being the shoulder I could lean on during this journey. We made a beautiful baby girl didn’t we?! What an amazing adventure we are on! You are my rock and my love. My heart is forever yours.

Shae

She's finally here!!

"11 Hours and 45 Minutes after your water broke and still no baby!!"

Once they started the pitocin the contractions came quick and STRONG. I like to brag that I have a high tolerance for pain but man, those things hurt. I had already talked things over with Kristy before I actually went into labor about what all my options would be. These days, when you walk into the hospital they will immediately give you an epidural. I knew that wasn't the route that I wanted to go. I had decided that I would atleast get to 4 cms before I would agree to the epidural. When I got to the hospital I was still only 1 cm dilated. They confirmed that yes my water had actually broke and it was time to get the ball rolling. We did the antibiotics then started the pitocin. They checked every few hours but I wasn't moving as fast they was anticipated. By hour number 12 I still wasn't at 4. We had tried everything. We changed the position of the bed, I got on the exercise ball, and I got the miracle drug.. Stadol. If anyone ever tells you "don't take the Stadol" DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM!! It took the edge off the pain and made me sleepy. That was perfectly fine with me by this point because we were up early remember.

What my husband was doing while I was in my Stadol coma

Finally, hour 12, I made it to 4!!! Epidural please!! While they were prepping me I asked my AWESOME AWESOME nurse Ms. Price if she would hit me up with one last shot of Stadol. Little did she know that I really didn't need it but I knew it would help me get through the "stick" of the epidural. I have yet to mention that I am TERRIFIED of needles. So terrified that I almost opted out of the epidural because I couldn't stand the thought of it. Thank God he knocked some sense into me. By the time the doctor was there to give me my epidural I could have cared less what happened. I did tell him of my phobia and he did tricked.. I never even knew he had stuck me but it wouldn't have mattered anyway!! Epidural.. check, catheter.. check.. all that was left to be done was the doctor wanted insert a monitor that measured the strength of my contractions because the one on my stomach seemed to quit reading as well then Brent could come back in. Thank the Lord above that he did because we found out what was making my progression so slow. My sac which the baby was in (aka what breaks when "your water breaks") had resealed! Can you believe that!! Just my luck!! He rebroke my water and we set sail again. This time things started to progress quickly. By hour 14, I was at 6 cm and moving right along. You would know there has to be a bump in the road somewhere. I was hoping we had already crossed it but little did we know it was only getting started. My nurse came in with the doctor because he has been monitoring the baby's heartbeat from the nurses station. Everytime I had a contraction and it was on the downward side the baby's heartbeat would drop because she was laying on her umbilical cord. He came in and said that he wanted to try something first but if he couldn't get it under control that we were going to have to do a c-section. Once again, I was devastated and scared to death. I had come all this way to hear those dreaded words "c-section". He inserted a catheter directly next to the baby and pumped fluid into it that way when the contraction stopped she would continue to float instead of laying on her cord. I also had to be turned every 15 minutes like a rotisserie chicken and had to be put on oxygen. The doctor said he would watch for 30 minutes then make his decision. My mood of the delivery changed drastically as you would imagine. Everyone was tense and anticipating what the outcome would be.

Brent sat beside my bed, held my hand and stared at the monitor watching the baby's heartbeat. The 30 minutes came and went and no one returned. At the hour mark I made Kristy go out to the nurse's station and find out the deal. Thankfully, what he did was working. My nurse came in and checked me 30 minutes later and I was at 8 cm! She told me if I felt any pressure or thought I needed to be checked to call out. Not 10 minutes later I had her check me again and it was time to push!!

I pushed 4 times in a span of 20 minutes and our little girl was here!! Man, that was a breeze!! You didn't actually think I'd post her picture now, did you??

Pictures by Mandie Newsome Captured (http://www.mandienewsom.com/)

Ready or not! HERE I COME!

My official due date was October 12th, 2010. At my last appointment the doctor asked me what my plans were? Did I want to wait and see if she came by herself after my due date or did I want to induce? I opted to induce. By this point, the stretch marks were growing rather big and long, I wasn't resting well anymore, my nose was so big it looked like I had gotten stung by something that I was definitely allergic to, and my child had not one free inch of room left to move. I would have been happy if he would have offered to induce that night but he didn't. He didn't schedule for me to have another office visit either. If I made it to the next week I was scheduled to meet him at the hospital Wednesday night October 11th and he would start the induction the morning of October 12th. This thrilled me!! I wanted my baby to have an even number for her date of birth. God had other plans.

The morning of October 10th I woke thinking like every pregnant woman.. I have to pee and I have to pee NOW! By this point, I was sleeping on Brents side of the bed because it was more comfortable for me. I was faced towards the inside of the bed and as I rolled (literally.. I rolled) to get out of bed the flood gates open. I have never moved so fast in my life. Before I could even think I had jumped off the bed and stood there thinking..1st: "Thank God that didn't get on my bed" and 2nd "here we go.. no going back now". I went to the bathroom and peed so I was pretty sure what happened wasn't that I had peed on myself.  So I yelled, "Brent, come here, I'm pretty sure my water just broke." Brent comes to the bathroom "Are you sure?" "Well I think so. I'm not sure, I mean last time I checked this was my first pregnancy." "Well when you find out just let me know, I'm going back to bed." I'm not real sure if he just didn't know how to react so he was pretending like it wasn't a big deal or he was freaking out inside and didn't know what to do. Keep in mind this was at around 7:00 am. I called my NP wifey Faith, my other wifey Amanda and my labor and delivery nurse friend Kristy and you would know that NO ONE answered their phone!! I thought friends were supposed to be there in your time of need right?? ;) On a serious note, these 3 girls were my rocks during my whole pregnancy. It seemed like they knew something was wrong with me before I did! I thank all 3 of you for walking through this journey with me. My heart is so full of love for you all! Back on track now.. when you go to your first appointment they give you a packet of all the "important" numbers you will need during your pregnancy. On that sheet of paper is the number for the hospital and as you probably already figured I had no idea where that sheet was. I searched high and low for it, finally found it and dialed the number. It connected me straight to the L&D nurses station. I told them what happened and she said that it could have been my water breaking that if I continued to leak (gross, huh) that it was definitely my water and I needed to come to the hospital. I thanked her for helping me, hung up the phone and stood up from the computer chair. It was definitely time to go. I went and got Brent out of bed and started getting ready. My bags were already packed as well as the babys so all I had to do was get dressed in my ONE pair of maternity capris that still fit and wait for my husband. He had to get a shower, shave and make sure his outfit was just right because if you remember Mandie was coming to take pictures. I know you must be thinking.. man.. he didn't care that she was in labor. It wasn't like that at all. I walked around making fun of him the whole time. I was having contractions but they felt like the same contractions I had been having so I didn't see any need to hurry. I made just a couple of phone calls mostly to my brother because it took about 20 times of calling to wake them up! ;)  But I had been threatened already.. he was not to miss the birth!  We ended up getting to the hospital at 9:00 am.





Oh Brother Where Art Thall



I had the lovely pleasure of being Strep B positive. This means that before they start the Pitocin, which makes the contractions come quicker and stronger, I had to have 2 rounds of antibiotics. They started the first round which infused over 30 mins then I had to wait 4 hours between and then they started the second dose. We read a lot and watched a lot of TV during that time. My brother and sister-in-law made it. As well as my sister, Alisha who lives in Jackson made it before she came. They actually made it 13 hours before she came!! haha Chad chewed me out over that fact because what normally takes them 4 hours to drive only took him about 3. He assumed by the time they got there that I would be ready to push but what I was really ready for was some F-O-O-D!! The last time I had anything to eat was for supper the night before. If I would have been thinking straight I would have gone through McDonalds before we went to the hospital. I will know better next time!! All day my family would talk about what they wanted to eat or drink and I threatened them that they wouldn't make it to see the baby if they brought food around me. My dear sweet husband was on my side though. I convinced him to take his phone and go out to the snack machine and call me. Everyone raved and raved about how they were going to get him if he did. Well, he went anyway BUT he didn't give me fair warning and my phone was on silent so I didn't get his call. I don't think I have ever been more saddened when I realized that the cure of my hunger was just a phone call away and I MISSED IT!!! Thats kinda like winning the pulishers clearing house and they come to give you the check and your not home so they give it to someone else. :( Dont worry.. Kristy showed up later with popsicles and saved the day!!

(All photos are from Captured by Mandie Newsom  http://www.mandienewsom.com/)

The Princess's Palace

Preparing for a baby has many perks! It was a load of fun deciding how to decorate and finding all the cute accessories for the room. When the baby was "Mason" we decided to decorate the room in farm animals. I had bought a sage bedding and was accenting in farm animals and tractors. Once we found out she was a girl, that was out the window. My sister, Tasha, wanted to make her bedding so on my lunch break one day I stopped in at Hobby Lobby and found the material of my dreams! I took pictures with my phone and emailed them to her. She bought the fabric and made my bedding in less than a week. She did a great job and I have had so many compliments on it. Thanks T! I went to Lowe's and picked out a peachy/pink color for the walls and my dad came and painted for me. I lucked up and found my crib at Hudson's for $80.00. The best part is it was one that I was looking at online and I got it for HALF PRICE!! We all know that for it to be at Hudson's something had to be wrong. It was in perfect condition but, just a week after I bought it the recall came out. The crib had a drop side on it and the recall consisted of calling and getting a part to make it a permanent side instead of allowing it to move up and down. That was perfectly fine with me especially since I got it HALF PRICE!! Sorry, just wanted to drive that point home. :)  I never recommend asking me and Brent to put anything together for you. You won't have to worry about if it will hold up.. you have to worry about who is going to make it out alive. haha The Wonder Pets song "what's gonna work? Teamwork!" definitely does not apply when it comes to us working construction together! haha All in all, we made it out alive with only minor injuries and had our baby girls room ready. All we lacked was... bows and headbands!! I bet you thought I was going to say her right? No fear, the bows came in and the bags were packed. We were ready for her!! I had been having Braxton Hicks since 26 weeks and had been dilated to 1cm since 36 weeks but nothing ever happened. I failed to mention before now that MY doctor ended up going out of the country to adopted a baby when I was just starting my every week appointments. My last 4 appointments were with a different doctor everytime. I was so happy for her AND so ready to get this ADHD child out my belly that I could have cared less who delivered her just as long as they got her out! At my 37 week check up I asked the "doctor of the week" what I could do to try to make me go into labor sooner rather than later. His exact words were "go home and do what got you in this position." My water broke at 40 weeks so its safe to say... we practiced abstinence!! ;)



Papaw painting







Maelyn's name on the wall and her owls (another mom/dad project)



changing table full of everything you can imagine



Her closet



Owl bow hanger



Aunt Tasha made this too!



Facebook makes the heart grow fonder!!

The famous quote "absence makes the heart grow fonder" rings true for many people, but I'd like to change it to "facebook makes the heart grow fonder" in my case. I can't quite remember exactly how I became "friends" with Amber Norris Photography but it has forever changed my life. Amber is a photographer that specializes in newborn photography. (check her out at http://www.ambernorrisphotography.com/) I will go into detail more about her in a future post but right now all you need to know is I LOVED HER PICTURES!! Everyday when I checked my news feed and saw pictures that she posted I would think "one day she is going to take my babys pictures" and sure enough she has, but thats not the point of this post. One day Amber posted on her page that her and another photographer were running a special for expecting moms. I'm all about saving a dollar so I was very interested. The package included a "birth session" by Mandie Newsom (http://www.mandienewsom.com/) and "newborn pictures" by Amber. As most people would, I had some reservations about this "birth session." After talking to Amber about it and also adding Mandie to my facebook page and viewing these birth sessions I knew I had to be involved. I made an appointment to meet with these two ladies to find out more information. We met at Newk's sandwich shop on my lunch break one day and I immediately knew these two girls were going to make a lasting impression on me. I signed a contract that day and anxiously awaited when I would get to work with these two girls again. This is where Amber will drop out of this post and I will tell you a little bit about Mrs. Mandie Newsom.

Mandie Newsom is originally from the state of Georgia but now resides in Columbia, MS. Although I'm pretty sure my parents aren't from Georgia and probably never been to Georgia I'm 100% sure Mandie and I were separated at birth. :)  She grew to be one of my close friends during my pregnancy and I'm not sure what I would have done without her. She was always one of the first people I spoke with after doctor appointments and we talked most every night on messenger. Although my husband loves Mandie.. he wasn't very fond of her during those times!! hahaha Mandie had the pleasure (haha) of taking my maternity pictures as well as capturing the birth of my daughter. Let me tell you, getting my husband to agree to be in these pictures was like pulling his teeth. He had never met Mandie in person and hates to have his picture taken. That photo shoot turned out to be TONS of fun!! Brent left there thinking Mandie was thebomb.com just like I do. I'm going to take this time to thank her for being such a great friend to me, for capturing one of the most important times of my life and for joining my family!! I love you girl! So like I said.. in my case facebook made my heart grow fonder.

36 Weeks

Brent knows who's boss!! :) J/K I'm sure he was telling me how huge I was!! haha

Showering with Love

Brent and I have been so blessed by how many people care for us and our child. We had 3 wonderful showers thrown for us and got everything our child will need. The following pictures are from one of our showers. Being the honoree its impossible for us to take our own pictures so these are some others took.

I made sure Brent wore his pink shirt in honor of our little girl. He wasn't a big fan of the pink until I told him how hot he was in it!! ;)

My wonderful sister-in-law Bethany did a great job getting everything together for the shower. All I have to say is... its a good thing I only have one brother because it would be hard for any other girl to mean as much as she does to me!! She's definitely my sister!!

 


The table that held the gifts spanned the room. This picture doesnt even cover half of them. Like I said, we are so blessed.




Lets see how short I can make this story. I want to say I was 13 years old when my granny passed away. She was my dads mom. She had cancer which had spread to her brain. They went in and removed the tumor and said there was a good chance that if she made it through the surgery she would be a vegetable. She made it through the surgery and the best news.. she wasn't a vegetable by no means. The bad part is she only made it a night after her surgery and then passed a blood clot and passed away. I remember the night she passed like yesterday. Me and my siblings were asleep at our house and I remember the phone ringing. My sister spoke with my mom who told her what had happened and she came to tell the rest of us. Our ever so quiet wind chimes went crazy that night and to this day I cant hear one without thinking of her.

My cousins and I had so much fun when we stayed at grannys house. Her house was surrounded by woods and we all preferred to be in those woods making up some game or trying to keep up with the boys. On the days we weren't allowed outside or when night time came we watched "The Velveteen Rabbit." It didn't matter how old you were.. when that TV came on we all watched. There is no telling how many copies of that movie she had to buy because I know we wore them all out. To my surprise my Aunt Kay ordered the movie, the book and "the" velveteen rabbit stuffed animal for Maelyn. It warms my heart to know that I can tell her about my granny and our memories and make her a part of it!! Thanks Aunt Kay! :)

This last picture is a picture of me and my cousin Rebekah. This is just to prove I really was the size of a cow!! Enjoy! :)

"Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking" - Tinman, Wizard of Oz

Did you know that the heart begins beating at four weeks after conception and does not stop until death? Amazing, huh? When you find out your expecting the excitement of the first ultrasound is unexplainable. I couldn't wait to go get violated just to see my little blob that looked nothing like a baby! But really.. does that matter? All that matters is that blob is your baby and you are responsible for doing everything possible to help it grow big, strong and healthy. You get your first ultrasound at 6 weeks and then your next ultrasound is when you find out the sex of the baby. I have already covered finding out the sex of baby Murphy but what I didn't cover was the stress of that ultrasound. Not only did we find out that she was a girl, we also found out that there was a spot in her heart that was very illuminated. We were told that this could be numerous things. It could have been a calcium deposit, a shadow or a hole in her heart. WOW!! What a blow to experience. Of course, like any parent I went home and googled every possible thing I could think of concerning what we had been told. What was a calcium deposit? What made them in the heart? What was the course of action concerning correcting this? Was it my fault? Did I need to drink more milk? (This is where I will insert that I HATE milk!! The most milk I got was what was left in the bowl after cereal.) Everything and anything concerning holes in the heart. First off, being employed in the heath field and being pregnant should never go hand in hand. You see so many things and hear so many things that will scare the lights out of you. I, being victim of this, was devastated. We talked options over with my doctor as to when we would have another ultrasound to check for any progression or regression. She told me that if it was a calcium deposit that most of the time if you wait a little while that by the next ultrasound they would be gone. So, I waited and I prayed. I cried and I prayed. I was scared to death. After a couple of check ups it was finally time to do a follow up ultrasound. I remember waiting in the waiting room praying that nothing would be on the ultrasound and I would hear the wonderful words that all was ok. I think the walk from the waiting room to the ultrasound room was the longest of my life. The ultrasound starts and my eyes are glued to the screen.. there is a leg, there is her head, and there is her heart.. with a larger spot illuminated. Really?? I didn't need anyone to tell me that, not only was it still there, it was larger. I can never describe that feeling. What was I doing wrong?? I will have to tell you that I have the best doctor out there. She quickly calmed my nerves and assured me that everything was going to be alright. We would wait some more and check one more time closer to delivery to know what precautions to take. The rest of my pregnancy seemed to drag on. I had 3 wonderful baby showers thrown for me which helped to take my mind off of things. Putting up and organizing all those wonderful gifts took weeks by itself. Before I knew it, it was time for the ultrasound. Once again I found myself sitting in the waiting room, praying for my unborn child and praying that I made it to the ultrasound room before I broke down from nerves in the waiting room. By this point I looked like a huge cow so this ultrasound was rather fun to see. My little girl was grown big and had NO room to move much. The first thing we saw was her foot and it was definitely her daddys! :)  I can't explain it, but a peace came over me. Before we got to her heart I already knew.. nothing would be there. Even though I already knew, when she said those precious words "I don't see anything, its gone" I could have kissed her. That day definitely ranks up there in my top ten days. But you know, whether her heart was broken or falling apart, it didn't matter. Because you see, she had already stolen mine.

Nobody has ever measured, not even the poets, how much the heart can hold. -Zelda Fitzgerald



Just days before delivery